|
|
JOKES
Nov 25, 2008 4:21:58 GMT -5
Post by Personnel Representative on Nov 25, 2008 4:21:58 GMT -5
Some horrible racist jokes:
What do you do when you have too many black people hanging out on your front lawn?
Hang them in the back.
What's the difference between a Jew and an apple pie?
About 30 minutes.
What's the difference between an Indian and a picnic table?
The table can support a whole family.
There's an Indian, a Black guy and a Mexican in a car, who's driving?
The police.
What was sad about the 4 black guys who drove off a cliff?
At least one more could have fit in the car.
How many Jews can fit in a sunfire?
2 in the front, 3 in the back and about a thousand in the ash tray.
Blonde jokes:
Two blondes walk into a building, you'd think one would have seen it.
A blonde gets locked in a grocery store over the weekend and starves to death.
What do you call three blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.
Women jokes:
How long does it take for a woman to orgasm?
Who fucking cares?
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Teenager jokes:
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. 1, and 8 others to write a song about it.
B. None, they all sit in the corner and cry about it.
Miscellaneous:
What was Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WaTAA
Cookies are put in the oven, one turns to the other and says "wow its getting hot in here", the other replies, "holy shit a talking cookie!"
A guy goes to the doctor's office and tells the receptionist he has a problem with his cock. Embarrassed, the receptionist request he comes back and explains he has a problem with his ear and tell the doctor was is really wrong later that way he doesn't make everyone uncomfortable. The man returns later and explains he has a problem with his hear. Smiling, the receptionist asks, "alright, and what seems to be the problem with your ear, sir?" Fed up, the man responds, "I can't piss out of my ear!"
Gross baby jokes:
What's gross?
8 dead babies in a garbage bag.
Grosser than that?
1 dead baby in 8 garbage bags.
How did the dead baby cross the road?
Stapled to the back of the chicken.
What's gross?
A tractor-trailer hitting a baby.
Grosser than that?
Skidding on it.
Even grosser?
Peeling it off the tire.
Whats red and white and scratches at the glass?
A baby in a microwave.
And by far the worst one I've ever heard:
What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
One of them I don't cum on when I eat it.
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Nov 26, 2008 20:45:46 GMT -5
Post by Montreal Canadiens on Nov 26, 2008 20:45:46 GMT -5
CANT WIN (stolen from the T.O sun)
A little boy walks into a courtroom and tells the judge, I dont want to live with my Dad because he beats me. The judge then asked the boy about his MOM. The Kid replies I
dont want to live with her either because she beats me too.Well, The Judge asks, who do you wanna live with.The Kid replies : I want to live with the Toronto Maple Leafs, they dont beat anyone.
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Nov 29, 2008 1:47:57 GMT -5
Post by tjhaskell on Nov 29, 2008 1:47:57 GMT -5
CANT WIN (stolen from the T.O sun) A little boy walks into a courtroom and tells the judge, I dont want to live with my Dad because he beats me. The judge then asked the boy about his MOM. The Kid replies I dont want to live with her either because she beats me too.Well, The Judge asks, who do you wanna live with.The Kid replies : I want to live with the Toronto Maple Leafs, they dont beat anyone. HA HA HA....... NOT... |
|
|
|
JOKES
Nov 29, 2008 2:09:30 GMT -5
Post by tjhaskell on Nov 29, 2008 2:09:30 GMT -5
Bunch of jokes.
.
.
.
WARNING USE OF THE "N-WORD" IN ONE OF THESE JOKES [/color][/size]
.
.
.
What does one fag say to another fag going on vacation?
Can I help you pack your shit?
Why do more black people get hit by cars in the winter?
They're easier to spot!
What do you call two blacks on one bike?
Organized crime!
Did you hear that they are going to have a RE-ELECTION... Obama didnt really win presidency, It was Nigger rigged.
Why are black people getting stronger?
T.V.s are getting bigger!
What do you call a little mexican?
A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay
What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan!
What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
Why is there no mexican olympic team?
All the spics who can run, jump or swim are in the U.S.!
What do you call a Chineese Guy with one testicle?
Whatwentwong
Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?
It stops on a dime, then picks it up
What language does Jewish homo speak?
Heblew
What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A jew with a coupon.
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Nov 29, 2008 4:17:21 GMT -5
Post by Colorado Avalanche on Nov 29, 2008 4:17:21 GMT -5
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crimestoppers
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Nov 30, 2008 2:44:57 GMT -5
Post by PR's Old Account (DO NOT PM) on Nov 30, 2008 2:44:57 GMT -5
AIDS
...That's the joke...
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Nov 30, 2008 3:19:22 GMT -5
Post by nemits on Nov 30, 2008 3:19:22 GMT -5
Two gay guys and Two Lesbians are racing from point A to point B, who wins?
The lesbians because they're doing 69 while the guys are still packing their shit.
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Nov 30, 2008 18:01:19 GMT -5
Post by Personnel Representative on Nov 30, 2008 18:01:19 GMT -5
So my buddy was playing dungeons and dragons in the basement, and I went to the store to grab some snacks for the game and when I came back, I looked in the window and they replaced one of the lightbulbs with a red one, and lit a tiny candle in the window frame. If you don't think that is funny, then ask me if I saw them wearing costumes when I went down to grab my cell phone... laugh now...
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Nov 30, 2008 19:55:22 GMT -5
Post by PR's Old Account (DO NOT PM) on Nov 30, 2008 19:55:22 GMT -5
So my buddy was playing dungeons and dragons in the basement, and I went to the store to grab some snacks for the game and when I came back, I looked in the window and they replaced one of the lightbulbs with a red one, and lit a tiny candle in the window frame. If you don't think that is funny, then ask me if I saw them wearing costumes when I went down to grab my cell phone... laugh now... ...HUH??? |
|
|
|
JOKES
Nov 30, 2008 20:44:35 GMT -5
Post by nemits on Nov 30, 2008 20:44:35 GMT -5
I dont get it either..
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
JOKES
Dec 1, 2008 17:10:41 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2008 17:10:41 GMT -5
me neither
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Dec 1, 2008 18:08:37 GMT -5
Post by XX - Former Wings - XX on Dec 1, 2008 18:08:37 GMT -5
i got it.. lol
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Dec 1, 2008 18:10:09 GMT -5
Post by Personnel Representative on Dec 1, 2008 18:10:09 GMT -5
So my buddy was playing dungeons and dragons in the basement, and I went to the store to grab some snacks for the game and when I came back, I looked in the window and they replaced one of the lightbulbs with a red one, and lit a tiny candle in the window frame. If you don't think that is funny, then ask me if I saw them wearing costumes when I went down to grab my cell phone... laugh now... Let's see if this will better set the mood on why it was funny.... First of all, this isn't a "joke" it's a story that took place a few nights ago. I drive over to my buddy's place the other night, and Denis, his roommate, tells us that he's gunna have some people over to play some dungeons and dragons (keep in mind, my buddy and his roommate are about 26 years old). So me and Phil (my buddy) are like ok, well we're gunna be up here watching the game anyways. Denis smiles and heads downstairs saying "ok, I'm gunna go set up cause they'll be here any minute". So the Leafs were going into the second period Saturday night and Phil and I decided to go get some snacks, and when we came back, we parked just outside the basement window to the downstairs livingroom and there was a candle about 2 inches in diameter that was lit on the window sill. Phil and I looked at each other and sort of said ok, whatever. As we continued to walk by the windows, we noticed a red light in the far corner of the room and a chair underneath it. In this chair sat a man in a cloak with his face covered. Yes, this was the dungeon master... So we thought, hey, whatever, let's go see the game. We head into the house through the upstairs door and watch the second period. Upon its conclusion, I decide to go downstairs quickly and grab my cell to make sure no one has been trying to get a hold of me, and low and behold I come face to face with THOR. 2 other people stand up screaming "A SPY, A SPY", and all of a sudden a hobbit (literally a dude about 4 feet tall) jumps in front of me shaking a cloth-made knife in my face "STAY BACK" he says. So I say, "Sorry, just grabbing my cell phone". And yes, perfectly timed, he replies with "What is this spell you speak of SPY?!" Then I see my buddy in the corner of the room sort of embarrassed by me being down there. No, he wasn't the dungeon master, he was "The Candle Keeper" whatever the fuck that is and these people take the game very serious. So I say: "Ah, alas, you've discovered me, dear Hobbit. My Lords and Ladies, it is I, King of Phones! I come bearing improper service plans and unnecessary charges that will steal the very gold from your satchels!" Everyone just looks at me weird, with the dungeon master barely paying me any attention. Then someone just yells "this guy is an idiot, tell him to leave".... I'M THE IDIOT? |
|
|
|
JOKES
Dec 1, 2008 19:36:08 GMT -5
Post by XX - Former Wings - XX on Dec 1, 2008 19:36:08 GMT -5
AHAHAHAHAH
fuck that made it SO much funnier. lol oh god. ahah
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Dec 1, 2008 20:55:56 GMT -5
Post by tjhaskell on Dec 1, 2008 20:55:56 GMT -5
LMMFAO! leafs Id have to admit, your first post made NO SENSE to me lol.
but then the second post was freaking GREAT!
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Dec 1, 2008 21:54:51 GMT -5
Post by Personnel Representative on Dec 1, 2008 21:54:51 GMT -5
lol you're welcome
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Dec 1, 2008 22:03:52 GMT -5
Post by extreme on Dec 1, 2008 22:03:52 GMT -5
People like this exist..... Wow.  |
|
|
|
JOKES
Dec 1, 2008 22:23:41 GMT -5
Post by mattyh on Dec 1, 2008 22:23:41 GMT -5
There is a 100 dollart bill in the middle of a four way intersection. At the four stop signs,stands Santa Claus, a man loving lesbian, a man hating lesbian and the easter bunny.
Who gets the 100 bill first?
The man hatin lesbian. Why?
The other three are figments of your imagination
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Dec 4, 2008 21:08:09 GMT -5
Post by xx - Former Penguins-xx on Dec 4, 2008 21:08:09 GMT -5
I heard a dumb blonde joke like that one time Pens.
Someone drops a 5 dollar bill on the sidewalk, in front of 3 people: Santa Clause, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde. Who picked it up?
The dumb blonde. The other two don't exist.
|
|
|
|
JOKES
Dec 5, 2008 9:34:16 GMT -5
Post by xx - Former Blues-xx on Dec 5, 2008 9:34:16 GMT -5
lol,montreal got most of its posts from here....
|
|
